Sandra: 0:00

I'd like to travel with a guy to romantic places. The whole Rome, Italy, Paris, France, that kind of thing. I want to make love in a foreign country

Hoyt: 0:15

welcome to behind the swipe. I'm your host Hoyt Prisock. And today we have a truly special guest with us. Sandra Mason, who you might recognize from the inaugural season of ABC's of the golden bachelor. Sandra brought her infectious energy and zest for life to the show. Making it all the way to week five. But there's so much more to Sondra than just her time on reality TV. And our conversation today, we dive deep into her fascinating backstory. From her adventurous move to Atlanta at the age of 53. To her exciting experiences on various game shows, including a big win on wheel of fortune back in 1988. Sandra shares her philosophy of saying why not to new opportunities. A mindset that led her to apply for the golden bachelor and has guided her through online dating career changes. And even the improv classes she's taking now. We talk about the importance of stepping outside your comfort zone and how it can lead to unexpected and wonderful experiences. Especially later in life. We also touch on themes, close to our hearts here at behind the swipe. Finding love and connection at any age. The support of family and friends. And the joy of being unapologetically yourself. Sandra's story is a Testament to the fact that life after 60 can be filled with adventure, romance and personal growth. So, whether you're navigating the world of online dating, or just looking for some inspiration to embrace new experiences. Today's episode is sure to resonate with you. Are you ready? Let's dive into my conversation with the incredible Sandra Mason. I am so pleased to be joined here on Behind the Swipe today by Sandra Mason. Sandra, as many of you may know, was a, a Golden Bachelorette on the recent season of The Golden Bachelor. And, you made it through week five, is that right, Sandra?

Sandra: 2:24

don't remember, but I was there for quite some time. I don't, I don't remember it was five or 50, but it was a long time, but it was a good long time.

Hoyt: 2:34

Well, that's good. I want, so I want to hear all about that, but you know, really, I'm most interested, Sondra, because you and I have had an opportunity to kind of get to know each other a little bit over the last couple of months. And I find your story really fascinating. I find you fascinating. And so I want to learn a little bit about your backstory. And then I want to talk about your decision to apply for this role with The Golden Bachelor. So tell me a little bit about Sandra. You're here in Atlanta. I'm

Sandra: 3:06

yes. I've been in Atlanta for 23 years now. So that's since I was 53 years old. I haven't, I'm having a birthday in two days, Hoyt. I'm not sure you know

Hoyt: 3:17

Oh, happy birthday!

Sandra: 3:19

you.

Hoyt: 3:21

So, 53, you moved here from where?

Sandra: 3:24

I moved from Washington State. I was living in the Redmond area and I was there for about 13 years at a recent divorce and, stayed there for a little while after the divorce. I didn't want to take my child away from her father. So, but I guess he decided to move somewhere else. And so that was my green light to get the heck out. And I thought, I don't want to move back to California where I'm from, where I grew up and all, I wanted to try something new and different. I was born in Atlanta and, um, I thought, let me try Atlanta and I'd heard great things about it. I had friends who had moved here and so I moved here on faith and it was, it turns out to be a very positive move and I'm so glad I did.

Hoyt: 4:06

so you're saying you, you did not have any pre existing connections to Atlanta? You just, uh, did you throw a dart at the map and say, that's where I'm gonna go?

Sandra: 4:15

Almost like, again, I, well, maybe I didn't say this. I was born here. I'm so sorry. I was born here. My parents moved away from me when I was one or two or something. And, uh, my parents, Went to Spelman and Morehouse. Of course that was quite some time ago, obviously. And um, but they did not want to raise their family here in the South 76 years ago. So

Hoyt: 4:39

I can understand why that might be.

Sandra: 4:41

So that's how I'm here and why I'm here. And fast forward to your question about the Golden Bachelor and why I decided to apply. Well, I've been single for 30 years. And I dated around, had a five year relationship, nothing but stuck really. And, um, Actually, I was dating someone in 2016 through 21, and I think I saw an announcement that they were casting for Golden Bachelors and Bachelorettes, uh, Seniors. They didn't call them Golden at the time, and I called my sister and I said, Hey. you ought to apply for this. And she said, nah, I'm not interested. I was kind of disappointed that she wasn't, but fast forward to 2022 after COVID, they re advertised this concept. And I thought, well, why not? Why not? I had traditionally dated, clearly online dated, double dated, Blind dated, speed dated. So, again, why not? And that's, that's what I did.

Hoyt: 5:51

Well, I love that about you. I kind of feel like that's just a part of your personality, that you're one of those people that said, why not? Give me the reasons why I shouldn't do this, right?

Sandra: 6:01

Not why, but why not?

Hoyt: 6:04

And what were your expectations when you said, Oh, okay, I'm going to put my name in the hat.

Sandra: 6:10

My expectation was they'll read my application and I may not ever hear from anyone again. I had no idea what the process was, of course. And it really was about three months after I hit that enter key that, I heard from someone. And I'd totally forgotten about it, quite frankly. And, uh, got a phone call from this young lady and I almost didn't answer the call. I didn't recognize the phone number and it turned out I did answer and we had a great conversation and it rolled from there.

Hoyt: 6:38

Oh, that's fantastic.

Sandra: 6:40

Yeah.

Hoyt: 6:40

so let's bring up another part of your backstory because yes, you had 15 minutes of fame. Well, way more than 15 minutes of fame with the Golden Bachelor series. But it's not your first encounter with that 15 minutes of fame, is it?

Sandra: 6:56

No, it's not actually. Uh, in 1969, I was on the Bob Eubanks Newlywed Game. For some of your listeners who might remember that. Uh, and my husband and I took second place. We won a set of Noritake China, which was a very nice set. And that was

Hoyt: 7:14

Who got that in the divorce? That's what I want to

Sandra: 7:17

Actually, we split it. Yeah, that worked out and, uh, I still have a few pieces to this day and I've moved a gazillion times, but I still have a few pieces. And then in 1988, I applied for Wheel of Fortune and, successfully had a, A tryout, they called them auditions back then. And I prevailed. I had been a student of that show. Like you wouldn't believe. I loved the game. Always was a TV game showaholic as a child, as a teenager, as a young adult. I loved television game shows. So when Wheel of Fortune was advertising, call this 800 number. If you would like to be a contestant, I thought, well, again, Why not? And it just so happened, I knew my husband and I were going to be in Southern California, a certain time frame. So when I called the 800 number and they said, when would you like to come? I mentioned that week. They booked me. I, went down and tried out. That was interesting. And

Hoyt: 8:14

And they said, they said yes.

Sandra: 8:16

no, they did not say yes. It's one of those, we don't call us, we'll call you, because there were Few of us who were remaining after this, it started with 110 people and through the process of that afternoon, it was down to 11. And I was one of those 11. And of course, before we all bid adieu, it's basically don't call us, we'll call you

Hoyt: 8:35

Uh huh. Uh huh.

Sandra: 8:37

we're interviewing and auditioning people daily, blah, blah, blah. And, um, maybe three weeks, four weeks later. I got, again, a phone call and, uh, they pulled me out of a meeting. I was selling real estate at the time and they pulled me out of this conference. And, um, I, um, actually they pulled me because the, the producers, whoever insisted that they pulled me out of this meeting. So the, these, the office staff came and got me. She said, Sandra, there's a call. I think you need to take their. Adamant about you taking their call right now. Oh, okay. I thought maybe it was another sale pending or something, but it was the producers and said they had a date selected for me and would I be ready? I said, I am ready now. Heck yeah. I was so excited. I just, I announced it to the office. Guess what? But anyway, it turned out very well and, um, went down and of course shot the show and I won.

Hoyt: 9:37

Congratulations.

Sandra: 9:38

Thank you. And I want over 30, 000, it was 30, 350, which at that time was a shitload of money,

Hoyt: 9:46

Yes.

Sandra: 9:48

it's, well, still is technically, I guess, but, uh, yeah, that was, that was my part of my 15 minutes Hoyt and, and then I got to tell you, I've, I'm actually a member of Screen Actors Guild. I had a, an opportunity to go to a tryout for, a television commercial. Never done anything like that before. I flubbed it miserably. because I wasn't prepared, the, agent hadn't told me what the word slate meant. So they asked me to slate and I said, ah, I'm sorry, I don't know what slate is. And they rolled their eyes and okay. So they said, give us your name, your agency, name and, your age and some other backgrounds. So I did that. So I didn't get that one. But the second audition I went on, I landed it. And, wow, okay. And a few others. And then I earned enough to become a member of SAG. And, and one commercial was a national commercial. And some of the other, performers and we're, we were all chatting, and, they asked me how many commercials I had done. And I said, I don't know, one or two. And they said, really? And you're in a national commercial? I said, is that what this is? And they said, yes. And he said, you don't know what a national commercial is. No, they were flabbergasted. You're going to get residuals. You're going to make money and then some. Oh, great. Okay. And I did. Checks for four years. I had checks rolling in. It was phenomenal.

Hoyt: 11:14

So Sondra, it sounds to me like you should be the poster child for the hold my beer, I'm going to do this thing.

Sandra: 11:20

I'm going to do this. I don't know what the heck I'm doing, but I'm going to do it. Yeah.

Hoyt: 11:26

So when you fast forward to the Golden Bachelor experience, it's actually quite a commitment. It's not like going and doing a couple of days of taping of, Wheel of Fortune, right? This is something far more. of a commitment,

Sandra: 11:42

Yes. Yes, indeed. Yes,

Hoyt: 11:44

Did you know that at the time that you made the application?

Sandra: 11:46

Well, I made the assumption that just by being a viewer of the Bachelor franchise, from the first Bachelor on, I watched, I can't say 100%, but 98 percent of all the episodes, all the Bachelors and Bachelorettes. And, and I knew that the show took place over a span of weeks. People don't fall in love in one afternoon, presumably. So they, they develop relationships and on and on. And so I knew that would be, There was some time involved they had even, when I got close to the end after the vetting process, they said, this is the timeframe you must commit to. And it was several weeks and I said, Hey, not a problem. I was excited.

Hoyt: 12:30

in that experience, you were not, obviously you were not in a relationship at the time that you were making this application and the commitment, but you had been out in the dating world, right? And so have you, like most of our audience, is interested in online dating, which I know you're not doing right now, but did you have experience in online dating?

Sandra: 12:57

Oh, of course.

Hoyt: 12:58

Tell

Sandra: 12:58

yeah, I've been on several sites and had, I don't know, a hundred dates. No, not that many, but I had my share of dates and kissed a few frogs just nothing that really stuck. Unfortunately. Met a lot of nice people, gentlemen, their families, that kind of thing. Just nothing really stuck. I think as we get older, we tend to be a little more tuned in on what we want, what we, what we think we need, what we certainly do not want, and what we're going to tolerate. And, um, maybe I'm my own enemy. I don't know. I, I just, I just kind of know who I want to bring around my friends, who I want to introduce to my children, my grown children. Uh, We all go through that, whether it's online dating or meeting someone at the grocery store dating. It's just, just being a little more careful about who we spend our time with, our precious hours with.

Hoyt: 13:53

And it's very different when you're 60 plus versus when you're 25, right?

Sandra: 14:00

You betcha.

Hoyt: 14:01

And in some ways you're freer to just be yourself. and allow yourself to be just as selective as you choose to be. Right.

Sandra: 14:08

That is right. It's my life. my life, my living room, my home, my space, my time, my energy. And, and I would expect any gentleman whom I'm Potentially seeing or dating, would have the same expectations about his own life, about

Hoyt: 14:23

Uh huh.

Sandra: 14:23

future and who he brings around his family. I remember going on a date where I had to hold the conversation. He just wasn't talking. And finally I said to him, Hey, why are you here with me? You have nothing to say. And he said, well, I'm just an observant kind of guy. I said, that's fine, but a conversation takes two people. I feel like I'm interviewing you and I don't want to interview you. I want us to chat. And he said, oh, well, that's just not who I am. I said, okay. Well, I never saw his ass again. Never had a desire. I, I, it just didn't make sense to me, but I have, you know, we all have those kind of stories, I'm sure. Oh, that was a waste of dinner, quite frankly.

Hoyt: 15:07

like you said, you gotta kiss a few frogs, right? And so what I know about you right now is that at your core, you're happy with Sandra. You're happy with who you are and where you are. And there's room for maybe somebody, in your life, a romantic partner, but it's not a critical element to your happiness. Is that how you would characterize it?

Sandra: 15:33

I, bingo. Yes. It's not critical because I have a life without a guy. I, I. I'd like one. It's not a need. It's a want. It's a like, but it's not gotta have it. And so I'm willing just to lay down for anyone. And again, I, I, whenever I'm dating a guy and I'm sitting across from him, I look and I think, what do I think my children would see in him? because at some point, if he's a guy I'm really interested in, I'm going to introduce him to them. And I, I just, so I know that just thinking about how they would react to this person would be, very important. but um, yeah, I have a great life. I am so blessed. It's amazing It's, I just keep thinking that something's gonna fall and, and I don't know what, but I, I have a very good life. Friends. I'm financially stable. I'm healthy. I'm energetic. I have, things to do and, and I don't know. I'm just blessed Hoyt.

Hoyt: 16:35

Who doesn't,

Sandra: 16:35

know people like you and Katie. Hold on. No? Well,

Hoyt: 16:41

That's all I'm saying.

Sandra: 16:43

you said it, I didn't. Oh gosh. No, I'm, I'm, I'm quite blessed.

Hoyt: 16:48

So you mentioned your daughters, how important Was there support in your choice to put yourself up for the Golden Bachelor?

Sandra: 16:59

very important. Actually when I was filling out the application online I called my oldest daughter and she actually helped me wordsmith that answers to some of the questions and uh, which is great. And then she also helped me select some of the photos that was going to accompany my application and I sent some really kooky doozies out there. I, I just thought they want more than seeing a gray haired person with a dog and grandkids and knitting. So I sent some really kooky stuff and I don't know, maybe that was how I got through the first round of yeses. Who knows? But um, my oldest daughter helped me. There was another point in time when the One of the, uh, casting folks asked me to have my daughters each do a video explaining why they thought their mother would be a good candidate for this show. And of course that same daughter who, helped me with the application said, absolutely. And she did a video and we both said, nah, try it again. She did a second one. My youngest daughter who works in the film industry said, nah, I better not do that. Because who knows, maybe at some point in time, I'll work with her. with ABC and that might not be a good idea, conflict of interest, which was fine. I understood. And, uh, the, the, the casting folks said, that's fine. The one video we got from your daughter was perfect.

Hoyt: 18:21

But you feel like they were 100 percent supportive of your doing this.

Sandra: 18:24

yes, of course they were. They're supportive of me. Generally speaking, they know I'm not going to do anything stupid or anything to embarrass them. And I thought I was going to for sure, but there were things I said and did on that show. When I look back, I thought, Oh my God, what are my kids going to say? Oh my God. But I did that a lot with, did I really say that? Did I really wear that? Did I, why didn't I say this? Should have, would have, could have all of that stuff. You know, we, we, we ladies tend to look back on ourselves and question, question, So, as it turns out, in the end, Hoyt, they were both very, very proud of me. Very proud. Gave them cred with their friends and colleagues. And so, yeah, I guess I done good.

Hoyt: 19:10

you've done good, mom.

Sandra: 19:12

Yes, yes.

Hoyt: 19:13

So one of the things that really struck me about the Golden Bachelor was that for so many people There was this notion that older single people become more invisible to us over time.

Sandra: 19:29

Yes.

Hoyt: 19:30

And people don't think about people in their 50s, Just having the same desires for, for connection and romantic connection, partnership,

Sandra: 19:43

Mm hmm.

Hoyt: 19:44

as, as they assume that they do when they're 25, 35, and 40, right?

Sandra: 19:50

That's right.

Hoyt: 19:51

and this season just sort of blew that whole thing away. I mean, all of you women were just, fantastic in your honesty and forthrightness and your exuberance for life. That was one of the things that really struck me, is that these are people who are really trying to suck the marrow out of life, even though they are in their 60s

Sandra: 20:16

Right. And there was more than you saw, of course. For 44 minutes a week, you, there was a lot more going on, a lot more filming that occurred that the public did not see. So the zest that you saw and the, the excitement and the, there was so much more than you saw. And yes, they did such a great job casting this show. Picked a great group of women. They really did.

Hoyt: 20:40

and I want to ask you more about that, but while we're still on this topic, were you aware of that this was an important message that you were bringing to a really broad audience that, hey, we're here and we're not invisible and we have the same wants and needs. as everyone else, even though we're seniors.

Sandra: 21:07

I don't, I don't think I ever thought that at the time we were filming. I think I was just being me. And I don't think that there was any underlying covert or message or, I don't think I had, personally, had any kind of, um, Messaging that I wanted to impart or thought I would. I was just being me and having a good time filming and meeting people and meeting Gary and watching the camera people. I was fascinated with the behind the scenes stuff. I, as I was with the Wheel of Fortune, as I was with the Newlywed Game, always was watching the crew and because what they do to me is fascinating. I don't think I had any, Anything beyond what we were doing on a daily basis to think, well, how's the public going to interpret the message of this show? But in the end, I know it was phenomenal and someone was smart,

Hoyt: 21:59

Uh huh.

Sandra: 22:00

very smart, even go here. To go there, to put, to put golden people out there as like you said, viable people, women, uh, who have social desires. We have intimacy desires. We have, we wanna connect, we wanna be wanna, we wanna make friends, we wanna do daredevil things. We just, we wanna live. And, and we did. And I was just fortunate enough to be one of 22 of 35,000 to land that spot. So I'm quite proud of myself as are my children. So,

Hoyt: 22:37

you a lot.

Sandra: 22:38

okay. Not a problem. That's great. Yeah.

Hoyt: 22:42

Well, you know, that was one of the other beautiful things about the series. And that was the way that, for the most part, you women bonded together and were incredibly supportive overall, incredibly supportive of each other, even though you were technically in competition. Can you, what can you tell me about that?

Sandra: 23:06

first of all, my perspective of this is not competition. And through the years as I watched this Bachelor franchise and The word competition came out with the young people all the time. I kept thinking, you guys aren't competing. You can't compete for a man or man. You can't compete for a woman. What you're doing is trying to establish a relationship with a particular individual. It's not because you're prettier, smart. There's always someone prettier, smarter, more charming, more, more viable, more something, something, something you just have to be. There has to be that automatic, Connection that, that's something that two people have that a third person doesn't have with the lead, so to speak. Anyway, that's always been my perspective. When I saw the young people battling on and they're getting bitchy with each other, the men are poking their chests out of each other. It's like, what, why are you doing that? What are you trying to prove? do you or do not want a relationship with someone Or are you trying to Be the leader of a pack. What is your goal? But at any rate, I, I just, I just never looked at it as a competition. I looked at it as I won. There's some brilliant people out there who have found a guy that I could meet that might be a potential mate for me. So that's how I looked at it and if someone else is going to do the work, great. I, as a matter of fact, during my, one of my chats, they don't call them auditions, but one of my chats with a group of producers, I thanked them. I said, thank you for helping me find my guy. done a lot of work for me, so thank you. And they laughed at me, but I was done on series. So

Hoyt: 24:49

they whittled it down to a one needle for you to look at in the haystack, right?

Sandra: 24:53

that's right. That's right. And I gotta tell you, he was a good guy. There's some backstory. We all have backstory. We all have skeletons. There are probably things that I might not want America to know, or I might not want my children to know about me. So we all have that kind of stuff, I think. No, they did a good job, both on the bachelor side, as well as, as bachelorettes. And, uh, you, you'd said earlier about not, uh, about us getting along. There were times when we all sat on the big sofa when the cameras, well, we don't think they were rolling, but we, we ladies kind of developed a pact. And that pact was we are not 20 year olds. We, we've lived life, we're grandmothers, we're mothers, we've had careers, we've, we are not going to be 20 year olds Catfighting each other. We're going to be respectful and, interact with maturity. And, and we, we made that pact. And I think for the most part, we did a damn fine job of that. May not be what the producers wanted in the end, because, because, sometimes, conflict sells, whereas kumbaya does not, but who knows, but I think we, we held our own,

Hoyt: 25:59

I think at the end of the day that producers got more than they bargained for her. Anyway, right.

Sandra: 26:05

I think so. And I think what we showed America was that there is some validity to getting older, being wiser, having lived life, and not having to fight over a man. Not having to put on the boxing gloves to be noticed. Just, just, just make a relationship if you can. Make it happen if you can, but not at the expense of someone else's feelings or embarrassment or, uh, any other negative. Just so, yes,

Hoyt: 26:42

you created amongst yourselves with the women, some of those are now, it seems like they feel like they're going to be lifelong connections that you've got with some of them.

Sandra: 26:51

they're ongoing. We have a group chat, text chat, which gets a little confusing for me sometime. I don't know who's speaking at the time, but, uh, and then we have individual relationships, uh, sisterhoods, uh, Some of us visiting one another. A large group of us in the end of this month are going up to New York together. We may be in the church. audience of a television show as guests only, not as a group of bachelorettes, but just being in the audience. so yes, we're keeping in touch. Mother's Day came, we were all wishing each other happy Mother's Day, happy Grandmother's Day, that kind of thing. So we have, we, we've made friendships and bonded and, and, uh, that's enriched my life immensely.

Hoyt: 27:36

it feels like to me, Sandra, that this experience. has given you new wind in your life in some other directions that you're interested in exploring now, right? Well,

Sandra: 27:57

30 minutes now. I want more. So I want to go back to when I first started acting and got my, earned my SAG membership. And so I'm working on that right now. I'm taking an improv class. So much fun. I'm really stretching myself with that and learning to be a little more, interactive and, Stepping out of my shell, which isn't that thick anyway, but getting out there.

Hoyt: 28:20

Is this one of those improv classes that you go for 10 weeks and then there's a performance at the end kind of

Sandra: 28:26

I, you know, they haven't told us there's a performance, but I have a feeling we're going to do that. If not in class and they're going to put us on stage at some, someplace. They haven't told us that, so I don't know. But, uh, boy am I learning what I don't know. Sometimes I tighten up and other times I'm just relaxing. It's. Just depends on what we're, what the subject matter is. It's interesting,

Hoyt: 28:50

So do you feel like the Golden Bachelor experience then has added to your confidence around re engaging with the acting. Yep.

Sandra: 29:00

sure. Absolutely. Absolutely. Although it's not, the, the bachelor, bachelorette experience, we weren't acting, we were being ourselves. That was not acting. That was non scripted. You're responding, we were responding to, questions thrown at us or the environment, environment we were put in, like a talent show or a filming session, those kinds of things. pickleball contests. So that was real life stuff. Um, kind of like the improv, they'll throw out a, an idea and then we just need to roll with it. Come up with quick lines and engage the audience and that kind of stretching our thoughts and just being kooky.

Hoyt: 29:42

So it really feels like you have just a ton of energy and a ton of zest for life right now

Sandra: 29:51

Yeah, I think I

Hoyt: 29:51

And, and, but I, I suspect that you were always like that. Is that, is that true?

Sandra: 29:55

that's, that's quite true. That's quite true. I, and I've got to say, I think that's with all my cast mates. Otherwise, we wouldn't have made it that far We wouldn't have been 35, 000 people down to 22. they did their job. And I'm sure that was a ton of work. It had to be. they were looking for people with personality, no fear of going out there and being themselves. People that I guess they thought America would embrace and be fans of. Pick their favorites and that kind of thing.

Hoyt: 30:27

what message would you have for women who think there just isn't much adventure, glamour, or sex left for women after 65?

Sandra: 30:36

Oh gosh. First of all, I hope there are not many who think that way That's, that's kind of sad. Because 65 isn't, I mean, what is that? Just a Medicare number or something? What, mean, I was 65 a long time ago and I was still kicking ass. So I, I just hope there's not a lot of people sitting around Thinking that the TV is the only friend they have. That they're out doing things. That they're playing pickleball. Or whatever their likes are. Their hobbies. Bowling. Walking the dogs. Plural. Cooking. Baking. I don't know, but doing something. Not just sitting home, eating bonbons. Gaining weight. Thinking, woe is me. That they are on dating sites. That they are on, that they are traveling. And, and, there's so much life left to live. There really is. You would know that, Hoyt.

Hoyt: 31:27

I do know that. And I, I feel like if you're not making your life bigger, if you're not stretching and you use this word a moment ago, which I think is perfect. If you're not stretching yourself, you're letting your life get smaller. And that only goes one way when you start to let it get smaller for you, doesn't it?

Sandra: 31:45

It does. And that's, that's kind of sad. And it's too doggone bad. Don't do it. Find something to do. Go to exercise classes. I love my exercise classes where there's, everybody looks like me. We're all suffering the same aches and pains, but doggone it, we're there. And um, it's so important. I don't want to be sitting home on the couch. I don't want the TV to be my only friend. I want to be moving and grooving and having and doing and I want to jump around on my birthday and then, then, then, then have fun and kick ass somehow or other.

Hoyt: 32:19

So it's,

Sandra: 32:20

I'm not supposed to eat.

Hoyt: 32:22

so how important is it then to, know that you're getting out of your comfort zone and just doing it anyway, right?

Sandra: 32:29

I don't even think about it that way. It's, it's, it's just, just do it. Just, just do it. As long as it's safe. Do something that's safe and legal. Or maybe not. What the hell?

Hoyt: 32:40

it's safe and legal and it's not going to kill you, do it.

Sandra: 32:43

Or anyone else, right? I don't think about why or what or who people are just sitting around. I'm always seeing people up out and about. So I, I try not to stay home. I try to spend my days out and about doing something. Night is for home and, and resting and regenerating for the next sunlight. And then thinking about what I'm going to do that day. What's on my schedule for that day? Do it. Just do it.

Hoyt: 33:11

So Sondra, what was your career when you were working?

Sandra: 33:14

Oh, my last, job, I was the executive assistant to the president of an engineering firm. So I was kind of the gatekeeper slash zookeeper some days. so that was fun. Prior to that, I was, involved in real estate. Well, I still am in licensee for, I was in real estate for 12 years. That was very, very rewarding. And, prior to that, I worked at good old, what they call Ma Bell, went through something called a vestiture and all that. That was my first, working position out of college. I got a job with Ma Bell and I was a service rep. Pacific Telephone, may I help you?

Hoyt: 33:54

So when you packed your bags and moved to Atlanta, did you have a job when you moved or you just said, I'm going to go find a job

Sandra: 34:04

I moved here on faith. Literally moved here on faith. I had, uh, some friends who gave me references and said, well, you should go talk to this person in that. And I did. And, and, uh, one of those turned out to be a good deal. And I got a job with, Johnny Isakson. I don't remember. So

Hoyt: 34:20

Oh, sure.

Sandra: 34:21

well, he owned a company called Northside Realty, and I got a job in their corporate office. And, so I was there for six months and then it, It really wasn't paying well enough. So I kept in touch with another gentleman who knew somebody who knew some people call my people, that kind of thing. And I got the job as the assistant to the president of that. I, I was, I probably still am very efficient. I have these efficiencies in life. About how to organize my paperwork, my projects and processes. And I'm never good at managing people, but I'm good at managing projects. So that was my forte. That's, that's the zookeeper part, because I don't know what the hell I was doing with other people. But, I was able to just get a lot done for the president. Things that he couldn't or wouldn't do and keep him out of jail and that kind of thing. but so that worked out. And then at 63, I thought there's more to life than this. And he angered me. And I said, I started doing some calculations. I went to HR. I said, give me, tell me what COBRA is about, blah, blah, blah. And I made my move. And, uh, I retired. I

Hoyt: 35:31

And you haven't looked back.

Sandra: 35:32

have not looked back My first, my first hobby after that was finding things and selling them on eBay and that transitioned to where I am now and have been for 10 years and that's a store in Chambly, Georgia. I'm gonna plug them. It's called Simple. F I N D S. I rent space there, put things on the shelf. I leave, they staff the store, things sell. I make money without having to stay there. And it's a great place to shop. It's phenomenal shopping. anything from mid century to vintage to antiques, contemporary, it's phenomenal gift shopping, items for the home office items for your office. Uh, it's just, it's phenomenal shopping. I always say when you come wear comfortable shoes because it's 25, 000 square feet of just fun shopping dog on it. And I have a space there.

Hoyt: 36:26

so remind people where that is for their next trip to Atlanta.

Sandra: 36:29

Yes. It's Shambly, Georgia, C H A M B L E E. And it's called Simple Finds. F I N D S. Look it up on the web.

Hoyt: 36:41

and it's got, a little Saunders shop

Sandra: 36:44

got a little Sondra shop and 129 other little Sondra shops, not little, but we're all different sizes and shapes, but phenomenal shopping. And, and again, that's, that's another family I have there. They're, we dealers or vendors are, uh, We embrace one another. We help one another with sales and it's, it's fun. It's what energizes me every day because I get to go shopping for the store. And, then I price research. Sometimes I have to buy something, I zhuzh it up and make it a little more marketable. Fun, fun, fun, fun. Uh, it's comfort. It's voiding a conflict. You know, I think you're, Ms. Patterson, one of your previous guests talked about comfort over conflict. And I thought about that terminology. I thought, yeah, that's where I am at Simple Finds. It's comfort there, no conflict. And at this stage of life, who needs any of that conflict crap? I don't. Yeah. Anyway,

Hoyt: 37:44

All right. So what else? So you're only 75 and you've got a, you've had a fantastic life already, right? So, so what are the, what are the next 30 years, right?

Sandra: 37:53

30 years. I'm standing erect, standing up tall. I just keep on keeping on. Hopefully in short order, I'll have a partner in life. That would be nice. That's still on my list of what I'd like. But, I just want to stay active and stay at the store, travel. move and groove like I have been. Meet great people like you and Katie. If I can get to be on some, future episode of the Bachelor franchise, I'd love that. If they call me, I'll come.

Hoyt: 38:23

so what else is, so now you've got improv. And you've got the possibility of a romantic relationship out there. What else is on Sandra's bucket list?

Sandra: 38:32

Well, those things I just mentioned, I do want to travel. I, I want to travel with a guy though. I'm not crazy about going with a group of women traveling. That's a lot of logistics and negotiations, but I'd like to travel with a guy to romantic places. The whole Rome, Italy, Paris, France, that kind of thing. I want to make love in a foreign country Yeah. so I guess that's considered bucket list. I never sat and thought, what do I want to do before I die? I've never been one of those to say, I want this, this, and this. I've not gone through that exercise until or, or even written down. I've not done that, but traveling is in my future. I want to act. I want to, be on stage again or be, in front of the camera again, I may not be very good at it, but we're, I'm finding out what my abilities are, uh, or my limits are.

Hoyt: 39:24

Well, speaking of limits, are there any things that you find intimidating? You seem fearless to me, but there must be some things that are still a little intimidating for you.

Sandra: 39:36

oh gosh, what's intimidating? Um, well, bungee jumping may be intimidating. Uh, I've got, I've got two reconstructed knees, so there might, might be some limitations there, but I, I don't know

Hoyt: 39:49

You're not going to be dunking any basketballs anytime

Sandra: 39:51

Nah, I can't do that. Can't pound these knees. Pickleball, I might try again. That was a little rough on my knees. But, um, gosh, I don't know. Bowling again. I love bowling. I love football. You and I may have talked about this before.

Hoyt: 40:05

you're, a Falcons fan.

Sandra: 40:07

No, I'm a, no, no, I feel sorry for Falcons fans. No, but I like the league itself, the 32 teams. I don't really have a particular team that I root for. Sometimes I'm a Kansas City fan, depending on who they're playing, but I just love the game. I just love the nuances of the offenses and the hard hitting defenses and rules and they change every year and I want to keep up with it. Every game for me is a new adventure of a new rule. And I want to understand what occurred then and roll it back. I want to rewind and see what I missed. Football is just fascinating. It's like game shows to me. I fell in love. I became a student. Same with football.

Hoyt: 40:53

It's action and anything can happen,

Sandra: 40:55

That's right. That's right. And, uh, my oldest daughter is also a football holic. So, we, sometimes we'll get on the phone, and we'll commentate, and then, and then roll back, and we'll see things together, and discuss it, and figure out what the heck happened, and it's fun, fun, fun. So, in the fall, that's another thing. See, when I'm looking for a gentleman, I want him to like football. He doesn't have to love it like I do, but I want him to embrace it, and like it, and understand why I do, and want to enjoy it with me. Let's either go to a sports bar or sit here and watch it, but let's do it. Yeah. Sundays, Mondays, Thursdays.

Hoyt: 41:33

All right, we'll have to have a throwdown in week three this year because your Kansas City Chiefs are playing against my Cincinnati Bengals, so.

Sandra: 41:42

Oh, poor Hoyt. It's okay. But no, they were, wait a minute. Those two teams were in the, uh, AFC derby

Hoyt: 41:50

Championship two

Sandra: 41:51

ship. That's right. That's right. So, okay. I shouldn't say poor Hoyt. That'll be a good contest

Hoyt: 41:56

Bengals won that one, by the way, And then they got knocked out by the Chiefs last year, so.

Sandra: 42:00

Yeah, that was a good game as I remember now. There's so many good games, I just

Hoyt: 42:04

We could talk football all afternoon,

Sandra: 42:06

Yes, yes. Hey Hoyt, maybe that, maybe that third week you and I could watch together.

Hoyt: 42:10

Let's do that. We'll have a little watch party over here. I'll even make Cincinnati chili.

Sandra: 42:16

Chill. Okay. But now here's one quick thing though I have to keep in mind. September 18th, as I understand it, is the limo night, or the first night of the golden bachelorette. So

Hoyt: 42:28

Uh huh.

Sandra: 42:29

that's an important week for me. I may be in Southern California at a watch party. I'm

Hoyt: 42:33

Oh, there you go.

Sandra: 42:35

yeah, that'll be exciting.

Hoyt: 42:37

Well, hopefully, the moon and stars will align so that we can, we can do that. All right. Tell me about your plan for finding this romantic partner.

Sandra: 42:49

Right now I don't have plans. I have not gone back. To online dating. I was online dating, as I said before, but one of the things they asked us to do when we were being vetted is get off the dating sites. Makes sense. Makes

Hoyt: 42:59

Makes sense. Yep.

Sandra: 43:00

Right. I have not, um, reestablished those sites, but I have friends who are introducing me to people, which is wonderful. I have bumped into people, guys. I, the sliding into the DM phenomenon has happened to me. I bet some really good gentlemen, I really have. Um, not yet the one I'm afraid, but, I've come close. So, I've got no complaints about that. I know he's out there, and I know he's here in the Atlanta area, and I'm going to meet him, and he's going to meet me. And, um, and I'll be happy to introduce him to you and Katie.

Hoyt: 43:41

that's one of the tests now, right?

Sandra: 43:43

Oh yeah, could be. Yes, like with my kids. You too as well. That's right.

Hoyt: 43:48

all right. So, so you talked a little bit about the possibility of dating. the last time that you were doing that, do you remember what, app you were working with? Was it Match or was it,

Sandra: 43:59

Well, there was a point, uh, there was a time when I was on Match. Uh, but I think, let's see. I know there was plenty of fish. There's so many now.

Hoyt: 44:09

There are, there are at least 60 right now,

Sandra: 44:12

oh gosh. I know there was a second one. Oh, I know one was black people meet. And one was senior people meet. That's what it was. There's so many. And, and it's funny because you see a lot of faces on the same, the same people on these

Hoyt: 44:26

On different sites. Yeah.

Sandra: 44:27

as people would see me on all three. So yeah, but I have met some doozies. I'll tell you.

Hoyt: 44:34

so what advice would you have? An awful lot of the listeners to this show are post divorce, maybe just a, even just a couple of years, and it's been forever since they've dated. So what kind of advice would you give them about mustering the courage to just get out there?

Sandra: 44:54

Just do it. Just, just be kind, be open, be sensitive to the fact that you might be seeing someone who is a divorcee and is hurt or who lost a spouse to death, or, just realizing that, Your needs probably are the same as their needs. You're just trying to fill that small void in your life and, and have a, have a partner. So, nothing heavy duty. I, just, just be kind, be real, be I don't know. I'm not a dating specialist. I just, just want someone to be real with me and, and, and tell me you've had three, five wives, whatever it is. Tell me you've got 20 kids out of wedlock. I want the truth. I want to know what I'm working with here. Yeah. Uh, and

Hoyt: 45:40

Well, lemme find out later. Right?

Sandra: 45:42

no, don't let me find out later. Tell me upfront what's going on and just be honest and like football dog on it. too short at this point to play games. Forget that crap. Just shoot square and let me know what's going on. What your needs are. What are you here for? And know that I can take care of myself financially, emotionally. You don't need to lean on me and I don't need to lean on you. But we've got, there's something that's more important It's going to web us together, something that's going to make us happy and wake up with smiles on our faces and, and intimacy. I'm still, I still want to be intimate. My libido is still, Hey, Sandra, hello. I want a guy to be, to have his libido intact. That may be asking a lot. I don't know. But that's a conversation we'd have to have.

Hoyt: 46:32

Lemme know that earlier too.

Sandra: 46:34

Yeah. It doesn't have to be the first or second meeting, but we, we got to segue into that at some point early on. And politics, you know, I think politics is important and certainly your, your religious leanings, if any, that those things have to come up and they're important

Hoyt: 46:51

you gotta be enough aligned and you've gotta be interested in people and, I think we all want someone that is just open to experiencing life in new ways, right? You've really demonstrated that really throughout your life And I think it's going to be inspirational for people. So I, look, Sandra, I really appreciate you being on today because I think people are going to take away some really important messages from this.

Sandra: 47:16

well, thank you, Hoyt. That's very sweet of you. Very sweet.

Hoyt: 47:19

Hey, tell people how they can follow you on, Instagram and anywhere else that, that makes sense.

Sandra: 47:26

Okay, I'm on Instagram. My handle, is that what they call it? My handle is SondraVaJoy. S A N D R A T H E J O Y. My middle name is Joy. My mom always called her Sondra My Joy, so it just made sense to call myself Sondra the Joy. And, um, And then I'm on Facebook, but if you can find me, Sandra Mason, I think that's how you find someone on Facebook. I also have a Tik Tok account, but for the life of me, I don't know how I got there. I don't know what my password is. I don't know how to get off, but I found out I have followers somehow. So I I'm not posting on there as far as I know, but I know somehow Facebook and Instagram merge and I could post something on Instagram. Next thing I know it's on Facebook. So somebody said, it's in your settings. I said, okay, well, I got to learn. I got to figure this out.

Hoyt: 48:20

Well, Sandra, your mother was right. You are a joy and I've thoroughly enjoyed our conversation today. Thank you so much for being on Behind This White.

Sandra: 48:29

thank you Hoyt. And you're very, very welcome. Behind the Swipe. I love that title, by the way.

Hoyt: 48:34

Thank you.

Sandra: 48:34

It's great.

Hoyt: 48:35

And we've got a football date coming up in

Sandra: 48:38

we do, doggone it. And if Katie doesn't want to watch football, we just, she has to go to another room.

Hoyt: 48:48

We had a delightful time today with Sandra Mason, from the golden bachelor. Her energy and stories are truly inspiring. Sandra's adventurous move to Atlanta, her bold decision to join the golden bachelor. And her, why not? Attitude show us that stepping out of our comfort zones can lead to amazing adventures. Her openness to new experiences and zest for life. Remind us that it's never too late to pursue our dreams and passions. Her candid reflections on dating and relationships. Have given us valuable insights into finding love later in life. Saundra's message of staying true to ourselves and being active and engaged. It's something we can all take to heart. And now on a lighter note. I can't let this episode end without a little friendly trash talk. Come September 15th, Marty Cincinnati Bengals are traveling to Arrowhead stadium. To face Sandra's Kansas city chiefs. Sondra you bring the barbecue. I'll bring the skyline chili. And together we'll witness Joe Kool and the boys and stripes school, Patrick, my homes and the chiefs. Thanks again to Sandra for sharing her story and to all our listeners. Thank you for tuning in. I'm your host Hoyt price sock. Until next time. Swipe fearless Liggett.